Finally, June 28th was here. And I joined the throng of eager fans to see the new Superman movie...

 

(quick detour)So, whats common to Superman and Hulk? (Trick question alert)

If you said they are both super-heroes, you can consider yourself among those quick-finger types who take great pleaure in stating the obvious. Superman and Hulk ("The" Hulk?) are superheroes of vastly different natures, once you peer beneath the superficial similarities. The Hulk is a brooding beast whose involuntary powers are a result of a freak reaction to radiation exposure. (BTW have you wondered how the Hulk's underpants are the only piece of his clothing thats never torn to shreds?) Superman, on the other hand is the epitome of controlled super-powers. He can turn on and off his laser +  x-ray vision + superhearing +.... at will. Equally important Superman rarely goes into a rage - he is super polite as one would expect. Ok. Now that you are convinced that this actually a much deeper question, I will venture an answer that has been a source of much bother for me. Here it is:

 

They both require enormous talent- enormous talent or a lack there of to screw up movies about them. Both are fantastic characters with amazing adventures in the comics, that it takes enormous talent (of the order of Bryan Singer and Ang Lee - granted they have made better movies) to screw up the movie. Superman was a big let down for me. Tepid. Lukewarm. Uninspiring. Final nail on the coffin - worse than The Hulk along multiple dimensions!

 

Before you hang out your jaw in disbelief, heres why:

1. There was but a smattering of the super-action that I had eagerly expected. Other than the air-plane scene (which, if you think about it is actually pretty tame by Superman standards) there was much else if you discount the rolling ball that Superman catches. This is the kind of stuff that Superman normally does in between fixing an earthquake in the Pacific and an impending meteor crash from the far edge of the galaxy. Ho hum.

2. The climax invloves throwing a big rock into Space. Thats the best they could come up with?! The million dollar story writers in Hollywood?

3. Too much Lois Lane. Waaay too much. They should have named the movie "Lois Lane Returns" - atleast the right expectations would have been set. This is the same gripe I had with the Hulk. We want to see the superhero do some super stuff - not sit through 2 hours of psychoanalysis of their troubled girlfriends! Ever since Spiderman set a precedent for the sensitive side of Superheroes and character building, every super-hero movie wants to be a taken as seriously as emotional drama.

4. Finally - the stupidity. Lex stabs Supe with a shard of Kryptonite. The best doctors in Metropolis are unable to help. Theres even a stupid nurse trying to push a needle into the man of steel only to see it break. Just take the freaking Kryptonite out, leave Superman out to dry. He will get better in a matter of minutes and quietly fly away. Duh!

 

I could go on, but this level of mediocrity has already upset me too much. Great opportunity missed to make a worthwhile Superman movie. (BTW Routh is good. Bosworth sucks)

Bryan and Ang - I want my tickets refunded.